Since cooking a Keto pizza is so easy, that it hardly even warrants a couple of lines, I’m going to fill this article with great tidbits, interesting facts, and a lot of trivia night cannon fodder on that meal. Amazing and bizarre little truisms about our favourite meal — THE pizza. Prepare for a couple of head-scratching segues, a lot of cheesy puns, and truck-full of call-backs to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You simply can’t dish out on pizza without invoking the half shell holy four. They’re like the pizza equivalent of the Beatles.
Keto Pizza, the way of the dough — The pizza dough.
It’s important to give credit where credit is due, pizza is not Italian. Oh, with that little throw-down and controversial truism we’re sticking our necks out. Bring it, I can take the hate mail. Anyway, pizza is not Italian. It started in the Mediterranean region, but not on that boot-shaped peninsula. According to archeologists, Italian archeologists, leven bread with all the hallmarks of pizza has been used since antiquity, since – at the very least – 7,000 years ago.
In the 6th century, Persian soldiers following commands from Darius the Great – father of Xerxes, the smug baddie from the film 300 – would go into battle with pouches full of dates, cheese, tomatoes, and grains. After hacking away at their enemies, they would bake flatbreads on top of their shields and then have themselves a celebratory pizza party.
Then, a couple of centuries later, after a series of battles and cultural exchange programs, the Greeks got into the whole pizza baking game. They started using other ingredients and mixing the flour with spices. Among those spices, we can find the hallmarks that give pizza dough its distinct flavor: garlic, onion, oregano, and other herbs. The Greeks not only improved on that battlefield ration, but are the ones that came up with the name that would eventually be hijacked, not by the Italian, but by Roman Jews, and turned into pizzarelle or pizza for short — what did the Greeks call pizza’s forefather? Plakous.
Fat head pizza — is there such a thing as keto pizza?
Worldwide, over 5 billion pizzas are sold each year. These stats’ highlight humanity’s love for that Ninja Turtle treat. No way were we, as a species, willing to submit ourselves to a diet or a way of life, if pizza was the meal we would have to sacrifice. Keto enthusiasts had no other choice but to get creative. Movements, like armies, march on their stomach, and if Persians taught us anything it is that pizza is the main fuel of such forward momentum.
Hence, we created Fat head dough.
What is Fat Head dough?
Well, in 2009, comedian Tom Naughton filmed the holy grail of Keto documentaries, Fat Head. Mind you, it’s important to note, that his initial goal wasn’t to highlight keto’s properties but to shine a light on a troubling belief that was being shelled out to the public since the 1950s. Tom wanted to refute the lipid hypothesis – a claim that links high cholesterol and heart disease. That hypothesis is basically the source of the Western world’s obsession with the whole “low-carb” way of eating — a thesis that was long ago debunked by science with numerous studies, but is still promoted by the mainstream media.
Anyway, Tom decided to stick to a low-carb diet of fast foods. Impossible, right? Low carb and fast foods are oxymorons. They can’t co-exist. Well, Tom, with the help of some crafty cooks, came up with a dough that could supplant the standard grain flour mixture we’re used to — and this is the one we’re going to employ for our pizza crust.
How to make a Keto Pizza
Prep-Time 30 minutes.
Ingredients:
- 3 cups of grated mozzarella cheese.
- 1 tbsp of cream cheese.
- 3/4 cup of almond flour or coconut flour (dealer’s choice).
- 1 tsp of white vinegar.
- 1 egg.
- A pinch of salt – omit if your cheese is a bit too salty.
- A dash of olive oil.
- Unsweetened tomato sauce.
- Toppings – whichever catches your fancy and is Keto-approved.
Tools
- Oven.
- Bowl.
- Hand mixer if you have one.
- Pan.
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 200ºC.
- Grab 1 1/2 cup of mozzarella, the cream cheese, the flour, the egg, the tsp of vinegar, and a bit of salt and mix in the bowl together. Stir until everything becomes cohesive. If you have a hand mixer use those nifty dough hooks that came with it.
- Moisten your hands with olive oil or non-stick baking spray and flatten dough on a pan.
- Stick in the oven for 10 -15 minutes.
- Remove from the oven.
- Sprinkle it with your tomato sauce and your leftover mozzarella.
- Top with your toppings.
- Bake a couple of more minutes, 10 to 15.
- Enjoy.